Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I have done an entry lately mostly due to the crappy internet here and apathy corresponding to the times that the internet is working. I'm still doing the same things I always have been, biking to work, working a lot, studying for test at the last second, etc. It's kinda stressful so I'll be cutting back on work soon.

This weekend was really fun. I visited Josh and Beth with Qehndrah in Moline. That was kickass, I miss Josh a lot. A few weekends ago I was in CF and I saw Westy and hung out a bit with Eric, Lisa, Mike, and Jonah. That was all sorts of good times as well.

I have several things I just remembered I need to get to, such as finding out what my deadlines for my graduation apps are and such, so I better get to that actually. Stupid being busy.

Posted by Seager @ 12:27 AM CST Link |

Thursday, October 2, 2003

I am consumed.

I am overwhelmingly consumed with with the urge - nay, the need... TO ROCK!

RAWK!

And this has nothing to do with that stupid Jack Black movie, so shut-up.

I have a new idea in life. One may even call it a goal. A... direction, I suppose. For about a year or more now I've felt guilt when going to shows at the M-Shop and other live venues. I feel regret that I never learned how to play guitar or bass when I was younger so that I could rock now. I can sing well, damn well in my opinion, although I am out of practice. I would be a lot better if I'd done any real singing since high-school, but bleh. I can sing well enough to rock. BUT, that isn't enough.

I'm tired of feeling guilt and regret whenever I see a show. The last time I felt like this it was because I knew how to devil stick but not juggle. That was silly to me, so I hunkered down and learned how to juggle. I'm graduating soon, in December, and after that I will have a lot of free time until Qehn graduates and we move on. My life can't consist of a boring full time job after that. I won't let it. I need to continue improving. I must get better at juggling, biking etc... and I must learn to rock.

Now, before you say this is just a whim, I must mention that I've been wanting to pick up guitar for years not but have either been too lazy or busy. It burns me to think that if I'd started two years ago I could possibly be rocking by now. Damn. So, it's time to cut my losses. I know I'm a little old to learn things like this, and it will be hard, but if I work I should be decent in a few years. ... I need it. I'm tired of being just the engineer, turning knobs and recording other people's music. Don't get me wrong, I love that, but it always just sticks me on the outskirts of the scene. I don't want to just record the band, I want to be in the band, and I've wanted to for years.

I'm torn, however, between the guitar and the bass. The bass is so much cooler, because with it you can funk the fuck out, and lay down the killer thumpin... But a guitar can be both acoustic and electric, and thus more versatile, and you can wail. Wail hard. But, the bass thumps, and is just all around cooler... I have tremendous urges to learn both, so eventually I will. I just need to know which one to start with.

I can't live life without crazy goals. Before, it was the peace corps. I attained that goal, and then ironically turned it down (for the better). Then, it was to bike across the country, and I kicked that goal in the ass. Back in the day it was graduating college and, before that, making it into college, etc etc etc. One must set their sights high or else there is no point in being alive.

With work, I'll soon be one bad-ass juggling/biking/devilsticking/microbiologist who plays a mean bass. Yea, I can live with that.

Posted by Seager @ 07:37 PM CST Link |