10/06/2002 Entry: "my girlfriend = smarter than aoler"

So, a number of months ago my girlfriend had something along the lines of "i eat babies" in her profile for AIM. Not suprisingly, some really fucking stupid aoler (gurliegurl8925) msg'd her. Hilarious hijinks ensued. I was shown this tonight on her computer (she saved the convo) and I felt the intense need, possibly due to my sickly state, to share it with all of you:

gurliegurl8925 (4:51 PM): ewww u eat babies!
hamstercadaver (4:51 PM): Yes, well.
gurliegurl8925 (4:51 PM): how old r u?
hamstercadaver (4:51 PM): We've all got our little quirks, haven't we?
gurliegurl8925 (4:52 PM): yah ru a hannibal
gurliegurl8925 (4:52 PM): what is a fetus?
gurliegurl8925 (4:53 PM): hello?
gurliegurl8925 (4:53 PM): asl?
hamstercadaver (4:54 PM): A fetus is a tasty dinner.
gurliegurl8925 (4:54 PM): ewwwwwww
gurliegurl8925 (4:54 PM): asl?
hamstercadaver (4:55 PM): Is it important?
gurliegurl8925 (4:55 PM): very!
hamstercadaver (4:55 PM): Oh.
hamstercadaver (4:56 PM): I'm eighteen.
hamstercadaver (4:56 PM): And a girl.
gurliegurl8925 (4:56 PM): u ain't no gurl!
hamstercadaver (4:56 PM): What gives you that idea?
gurliegurl8925 (4:57 PM): cuz when u say u eat babies it makes u sound sumthin like a boy would do
hamstercadaver (4:58 PM): Perhaps I've got identity problems.
gurliegurl8925 (4:58 PM): yah do!
gurliegurl8925 (4:59 PM): ur freekey
gurliegurl8925 (4:59 PM): u lil hanable!
gurliegurl8925 (4:59 PM): *hannibal
gurliegurl8925 (5:01 PM): hello
hamstercadaver (5:01 PM): Yes?
gurliegurl8925 (5:01 PM): u r such a bitch !
gurliegurl8925 (5:02 PM): =-oyou eat babies=-o
hamstercadaver (5:02 PM): I'm decreasing the population problem in an efficient yet delicious way.
gurliegurl8925 (5:02 PM): ewww
gurliegurl8925 (5:03 PM): u fucker
gurliegurl8925 (5:03 PM): fuck u bitch
hamstercadaver (5:04 PM): You're the one who wanted to talk to me.
gurliegurl8925 (5:04 PM): i wannted to see if ur really a babie eater
gurliegurl8925 (5:04 PM): u nasty fool
gurliegurl8925 (5:05 PM): and who gives u these babies!
hamstercadaver (5:05 PM): Oh, people.
hamstercadaver (5:05 PM): Sometimes I use my own.
gurliegurl8925 (5:05 PM): ewwwwww
gurliegurl8925 (5:05 PM): thats like oboration
gurliegurl8925 (5:06 PM): how many times did u eat ur babies!
hamstercadaver (5:06 PM): Oh, too many to count.
gurliegurl8925 (5:07 PM): yah okay probly zero!
hamstercadaver (5:07 PM): Is it so shameful?
gurliegurl8925 (5:07 PM): yes verr u not suposed to do that
hamstercadaver (5:07 PM): According to whom?
gurliegurl8925 (5:08 PM): the world!!!! duh
hamstercadaver (5:08 PM): The world is always right?
gurliegurl8925 (5:08 PM): yah
gurliegurl8925 (5:08 PM): always!
hamstercadaver (5:08 PM): What happens when it changes its mind?
gurliegurl8925 (5:09 PM): well then it is right
hamstercadaver (5:09 PM): And it wasn't before?
gurliegurl8925 (5:09 PM): yes it waz
gurliegurl8925 (5:09 PM): omg u need to go back 2 skool
hamstercadaver (5:10 PM): I'm interested.
hamstercadaver (5:10 PM): How can two opposing viewpoints both be right?
gurliegurl8925 (5:10 PM): oh well then GET UR LIL LAZZY BABIE EATIN ASS UP AND GO BACK TO SKOOL
hamstercadaver (5:11 PM): For example. The "world" used to think that burning innocent girls as witches was "right." Now it says that burning girls, innocent or not, is wrong.
hamstercadaver (5:11 PM): How do you reconcile the two beliefs?
gurliegurl8925 (5:12 PM): THEY SHOULD BURN WITCHES CUZ THEY R BITCHEZ!
hamstercadaver (5:12 PM): Do you believe in witches?
gurliegurl8925 (5:12 PM): HELL NO@
hamstercadaver (5:12 PM): So...why do you think they should be burnt?
gurliegurl8925 (5:13 PM): CUZ THEY ARE A DISRUPTION TO THIS WORLD AND INTURPET THE LAWS OF NATURE!
hamstercadaver (5:13 PM): But you just said they didn't exist.
gurliegurl8925 (5:14 PM): I KNOW BUT IF THEY DO (HYPETHCEALLY) THAN THAT IS Y THEY SHOULD BE BURNT
hamstercadaver (5:15 PM): Was it right to burn the girls in the sixteen hundreds?
gurliegurl8925 (5:16 PM): YAH
gurliegurl8925 (5:16 PM): GTG
hamstercadaver (5:16 PM): Good escape.

On a slightly related note, I just did this update from a Mac. Icky.