10/06/2005 Entry: "cpr class"

I had to get recertified in CPR for my EMT classes. It was an adventure.

My last certification was in 2002 before the RoadShow. I kind of remembered CPR and all that jazz but not entirely. It was good I took the class again. I was also recertified in First Aid which is, for the most part, a worthless class. When I first took First Aid we had just got done watching the video on why it's important for people to act during an emergency and why people don't act when someone in the class fainted from the blood in the video and hit her head. Everyone just sat there except for Jesse (of the roadshow) and me. Jesse was right next to her and helped her, and I ran and got the intructor for help. Apparently the message didn't sink in with anyone else. It was at that point I knew Jesse was a guy I could really count on if things went wrong on the cross country ride. (and they did)

I got to use my shock training from first aid during RAGBRAI of that year. A fellow roadshow rider, Mike, got a bit spooked on the first day by all the other bikes and crashed downhill at 30+ mph. He got severe roadrash over much of his body. I made a few mistakes when caring for him that may or may not have caused him to go into shock. I let him sit up and started cleaning his roadrash. The pain from that may have been what put him over the edge. He started screaming histaricaly and looking into my eyes like he didn't recongnize me. I tried to bring him out of it by yelling his name and holding his hand, but he just grabbed as hard as he could while looking into my eyes and screaming in fear. He didn't know who I was but he wanted me to help him. It's something I'll never forget.

I laid him down to get blood to his head and then I noticed that his feet were down a hill. I had Mark help me rip the panniers off his bike and elevated Mike's feet above his head. Then I had Mark get out all of Mike's extra clothing and covered him up to get him warm. This brought him out of the acute shock almost immediately. It was really scary.

Paramedics showed up shortly after this but didn't help. I did all of the first aid and bandaging myself while they just stood there and watched. They didn't even let me use their bandages, I had to use my own out of my kit. Fuckers.

Back to current times, the people I took the class with this time were mostly intellegent. However, you could tell that for some of them this was their only social interaction (apparently ever) and they got really annoying. One gem was after we returned from lunch the instructor asked if the food had made us tired or energized. Everyone grumbled "tired" and then the 'Annoying talks too much girl who thinks she's clever' piped up and said "Well, if you had narcalepsy, it could be either way!"

The entire room (who was very sick of her by that point) collectively rolled their eyes. It was painful.

A not-so-bright but decent looking soho that smelled like bath and bodyworks sat next to me. When she heard what my degree was in during introductions she said "oh, you're a smarty then, huh?" She then spent the rest of the day asking stupid questions - the bulk of which were about when to stop CPR (how do you know when they are dead? Are they blue?) and where she'd sit legally if certain things happened. Seriously - first, generally you are saving someone you know with CPR, not a stranger, so it's not like you are going to want to stop. Secondly, you do CPR until the paramedics show up. That's whole idea. You put air in their lungs, then you circulate the air throughout their body using their blood by pumping their heart for them. Technically if you are doing full CPR they are dead already and you are just keeping their body and brain in good condition until the paramedics can shock the fuck out of it. (for those of you who aren't aware, the intention of CPR is not to restart the heart)

On a side not I learned that falling is the second highest cause of unintentional death in the US. (the first being car accidents) Also, everyone person will have at least one major accident once in their lives, statistically. Well, I already had mine, falling off a ladder 16 feet onto my head (second highest cause of death, fuckers!) and I lived through it so I figure I'm off the hook, right? Invincibility, HERE I COME!