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12/14/2005 Entry: "anus water"

Anus Water
noun: Tea, but filtered through your butthole.

I like to yell about things at work, and one of those things is people who call our beef "steak." Especially when I ask them "Beef, Pork, or Chicken?" and they answer "steak." Alright, asshole, just because you call it steak doesn't make it so. It's fucking fatty-ass beef. Yummy, but beef just the same.

One day this will happen:

dumbass guy walks in with his girlfriend
Dumbass: I'll have a steak burrito
(I need to know tortilla, rice, and beans before I know steak so this guy can fuck right the hell off already, but we can let that slide)
Me: What's your girlfriend's name?
Dumbass: Sara
Me: Oh, you mean it's not Carmen Electra or Hottits McGee?
Dumbass: No, it's Sara.
Me: FINE! YOU DON'T CALL MY BEEF "STEAK" AND I WON'T CALL YOUR SARA "HOTTITS McGEE!" CLEARLY THERE IS A DIFFENCE YOU GOD DAMN VAGINA FACE! CALLING YOUR WENCH "CARMEN ELECTRA" DOES NOT GIVE HER GREAT CANS AND NEITHER DOES CALLING MY BEEF "STEAK" MAKE IT BETTER QUALITY SO SHUT THE GOD DAMN HELL UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!

Then, I shoot him. With a gun that shoots knifes covered in "shut the fuck up" juice. (lazers too)

One day...

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