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12/14/2002 Entry: "changes" Haha, even though I've slept, this damn thing claims it's the same day. Greymatter was not designed for those of us who are nocturnal. I was doing some thinking today while shopping, and just thought about it again while discussing genetic mapping with my Dad. It's becoming apparent to me more and more that I am near to reaching the supposed goal of the education system. I know enough now to get an entry level Microbiology job almost anywhere (and infact already have one) and in a year from now I'll have a degree and 2 more semesters of dual lab experience under my belt. I'm becoming on of those people who write the scientific journals I've studied for so long. That elusive scientist who's research I have studied for years is quickly becoming me. In 5-10 years people may be studying my work. That fucking blows my mind. I know many of my friends aren't big fans of the whole school system map of their lives, but it's not all bad. School is a tool, nothing more. It only controls you if you let it. Although I must admit it's not for everyone. Which leads me to the other thing I've been thinking about today. I'm kind of frightened. I started work on my Peace Corps application today, and in a few minutes, after writing this, I will resume work on the Road Show webpage. It starting to dawn on me how life changing these two experiences are going to be. I can look back on my life and map out the major changing points for me. 7th Grade, when I kicked the depression thing and started accepting stuttering. Early highschool, where I made life long friends that would shape my personality, and lost religion. My fresh/soph year in college, when I was exposed to thoughts and ideas that shaped my views on politics and philosophy, and met more life long friends that would shape my college experiences. My second RAGBRAI, where I road alone and forced myself to do the hardest physical challenges of my life, everything seemed easier after that. And most recently, Qehndrah, whose influence on me is hard to put into words. Now is another of those turning points, as I say good bye to two more of my best friends. (more on that in a later entry) Normally these huge influences space themselves out, but two are fastly approaching. I know I'm not going to look at life the same after this summer. And, in a short semester after that, I get a fucking degree, become a professional, and then leave for some god forsaken third world country to try and save them. I'm damn sure that will change my out look on the world. I'm finally on the verge of becoming the man I want to be, but that means being thrust out into the real world with no one but myself to rely on and into unfamiliar terrority. It's starting to scare the shit out of me, but damn, I'm looking forward to it. I just wish I didn't have to say anymore good-byes.
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