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12/14/2007 Entry: "work part 2" Here is the second installment of my multi-part essay "The People I work with" or "OMFG HOW ARE PEOPLE THIS DUMB ABLE TO FEED THEMSELVES!" Part 1 is directly below this entry, for those of you who don't check this blog every day - and I'm assuming that's all of you. Roster: Boss #1: 25yo. College degree in Marketing, actually knows what he's doing, has slowly earned my respect. However, has a bad temper, expects way to much, and doesn't pay people enough. He backed into my truck in November and still hasn't fixed my bumper but screams if anyone even gets close to scratching his truck. Isn't stupid. Boss #2: 22yo. Boss #1's younger brother. Worse temper. Pretty dumb. Talks non-stop shit but can't take it. Can't take orders. Has never had any other job. Repeatedly says things like "when I was doing your job back when I was in high school I was better than you'll ever be at it" and "none of you are even worth what we're paying you." Doesn't like Mexicans. Doesn't like "smart" people. In completely unable to emphasize or see his own hypocrisy. Has no friends because he believes he is superior to everyone. Lives for his television. Meathead: 23yo. May be the dumbest person I've ever met. Super homophobic - probably is gay or had father who did nothing but hate gays around him. HUGE temper. Sometimes acts like a goth/emo kid by talking about how much he hates his life. Can only see things in violent terms - has no comeback response other than things like "How about I put this stake through your head!" Sucks up non-stop and tries to make everyone else look bad (buddy fucker) in order to get ahead in company. This strategy has worked particularly well with boss #2 and now he makes more money than the rest of us while doing much easier work. Whenever I show my true self around him he talks about how much he wants to hurt me. (for instance, I'm talking to boss #2 about unicycling so he buts in and says "If I ever saw you on a unicycle I'd throw a stick through your spokes and then kick you," followed by laughter like he thinks it's the funniest thing in the world and gets confused when no one else laughs.) The world would be MUCH better off it Meathead would finally stop whining and actually kill himself. I'm sure he had some horrible childhood and strict daddy who made him be the way he is - but it's important that he die before he breeds and makes more stupid angry babies. Oh, and he 100% believes that Bush caused 9-11 so he could get rich of oil. I'm not very mean to him but he thinks I am because he attributes everything bad that boss #2 does to him to me. As such I've decided to actually start being mean to him and see what happens. I want to try to walk that fine line between making him super angry and him kicking my ass. It'd kind of like riding a ledge on a unicycle. STDBoy: 28yo. Super conservative, homophobic, adulterating, ex(?)-druggy construction worker and probably my best friend on the crew. The only person who knows I went to college. Came from Minnesota and liked Atmosphere and knew a lot about music. He and I were confidants - talking about how much we hated everyone (especially meathead) and about different job opportunities/interviews, druggy pasts, college, what lies we are currently telling to the idiots on the crew, etc. We had what we call "mutually assured destruction" meaning that we had enough dirt on each other to finish our careers with the company and thus were able to share our secrets with each other safely. He, of course, had no idea that I am a liberal hippie. That would have been a deal breaker I think. He left a few days ago to go make 19/hr at some other job. The bastard. He was smarter than he let on, partially due to a well traveled life experience. Oh yea, he's also hopelessly addicted to strippers and porn - but got married recently because he knocked up his girlfriend while they were broken up. Don Juan: 23yo. Fired by Boss #2 for being late too much and being mexican. Good, hard worker. Did all the shit jobs I didn't want to do. Was STDBoy's and my partner in crime until he got axed. Hated meathead more than any of us. Not too bright, but being fired was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. Fled to the USA because he knocked up another guy's wife. Got married recently while sleeping with 3 other women. EG (experienced guy): 36yo, mexican. Hired recently and has 8 years foundation experience. Is better at the job than boss #2. Is treated like shit by boss #2 and meathead. Intelligent and very nice - I have nothing bad to say about him at all. Now that you know the players I can proceed to give you 6 months of WTF stories that will make you dance with joy.
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