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12/14/2002 Entry: "Hahahaha!"

Ok... so check this out. Today the entire college of engineering here at good 'ol ISU was signed up for e-mail porn due to the address being posted on StrangeTalk (an ISU bulletin board run by us). That fucking rules, but it's not the funniest part. The funniest part is the bitchfest that resulted between whining engineers and hooligans with a sense of humor. Check it out.

Today I filled out an application and dropped a resume off at the NADC. If I get that job it will be rather... interesting... part of the job description is "The incumbent will assist in research on foodborne pathogens (Salmonella, Listeria, Yersinia) in swine and turkeys. The work will involve processing of microbiological samples, data entry, literature review, and field data collection...." I want you to pay close attention to the underlined parts. Translated from microbio lingo, that means "You will be putting your hands in turkey and pig shit and seeing what is living there." Oh fucking great. I guess it beats working at Macdonalds again. (I really hope AATI hires me.)

On the way back from the whole app deal I went and got some gas for Mark's car and while there someone from my old Highschool (CF) that I hadn't seen in a long time recognized me and came over and said hi. I recognized her but forgot her name (doh). The reason this story is worth mentioning is one of the things she said was that back when she first came to CF I was the first person who was nice to her. That made me feel pretty good. I tried to be nice to everyone back then (and now I suppose) and it makes me feel pretty good that it apparently meant enough to her for her to remember it after what has probably been around 3 years. Crazy.

I was informed of two things since my last entry that I feel the need to mention. The first I will quote directly from my Aunt Bonnie, who rules:

I just heard that if you spray dust bunnies with hair spray and then run over them with rollerblades, they will ignite.
Sounds like fun.

Holy shit, wouldn't that be cool if it worked for all bunnies?

The second thing I was informed of was by Mark (he's on the right). Apparently, someone figured out that if you make coffee out of coffee beans that have passed through a pig digestive tract, it's really good and people pay a lot of money for it. Uhh.. What? Pig shit covered coffee beans? I want to know what sick fuck figured this out. I bet it went something like this:

Juan Valdez: "Oh no honey, the pigs ate all my coffee beans!"
Ho Valdez: "You stupid fuck! No pussy for you!"
Juan Valdez: "Fuck off, bitch! It's not my fault! Beside, I don't want your skanky-ass hoo-ha! It smells like Castro!"
Fidel Castro: "Hey, ass, fuck you and your donkey. It's not my fault is smells down there, it's that fucking Alien Gonzalez and his weird butt probe!"
Juan Valdez:: "Ahh, hell. Whatever. I'm going to go eat some pig shit."
Hitler: "SHUT UP! Or I will romp all your shit up with my shizer power!"
Juan Valdez: "Hey, this is some good coffee!!"
Alien Gonzalez: "ET PHONE HOME!"

Woo!

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I just wanted to let you know that I don't give a shit :). Hmm . . . that prolly came off as much more harsh then intended. So - here's a quote:
"I could deal with this if I smoked a couple grams of black tar heroin." - Robert Downey Jr. on playing Pokemon w/ his son.
The End.

Posted by (still) Ozzie @ 04/13/2002 07:48 PM PST

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